The training method Lyall-san proposed was to “release aura to the limit, and then perceive the aura as it recovers.”
The idea is that by creating a state of pseudo-aura depletion, one can heighten their sensitivity to aura.
However, there’s a problem with this method.
“Everyone knows that if you use up all your aura, you die. Even a child knows that!”
Fina-san’s words hit the nail on the head. From this fact, it’s been inferred that aura is a type of life energy.
Of course, most people wouldn’t use it to the point of death, since extreme aura depletion severely disrupts the body’s condition.
“I’m talking about the state right before that.”
“It’s the same thing! There’s still a chance of dying!”
“I suppose so. But what of it?”
“Wha—…”
Lyall-san was utterly calm. It was as if he had anticipated Fina-san’s reaction.
“It’s Neil’s decision. Of course, if you’re okay with a less effective method, there are other, gentler options—”
“I’ll do it. No, please let me do it!”
Neil-san answered immediately.
Is he serious?
“Neil?! Why!”
“I have a premonition. The Empire is starting to make unsettling moves, and the domestic situation is still unstable. At this rate, I’ll probably be assigned even tougher missions than before. If I have to fight in those situations with my current strength… I’ll die sooner or later.”
“You don’t know that…”
“Don’t you actually know it too, Fii-nee? In that tunnel the other day, if Katia-san hadn’t done something, we’d be dead. Not only that, but in terms of the number of worms we defeated, I was worse than you, Fii-nee. Even if my weapon is great, I don’t think it will dramatically improve things.”
“…”
“And besides…”
Neil-san’s face twisted. It was a bitter, grim expression, unlike his usual cheerful self.
“And besides, as a man, as a swordsman, being constantly protected by others is far more miserable than death…!”
It was a voice that sounded like he was releasing everything he had bottled up inside. He couldn’t have been okay with it, being in the position of a knight protecting the people, while his own life was precarious.
I failed to notice his conflict, his anguish. In my past life, I was a man, and now I’m a swordsman, and yet… Ah, I hate myself.
“…! I don’t understand that kind of logic! Even if it’s uncool, even if you’re weak, it’s still much better than dying!”
“Fina-sa—”
Unable to bear it any longer, Fina-san turned her back and ran away.
Should I chase after her…?
“Katia-san, could you please take care of my sister? She seems to trust you, and if I go now, it’ll only make things worse…”
Neil-san said to me, his face somewhat clearer now that he had revealed his inner feelings.
“Yes, but what should I say…?”
I don’t fully understand Fina-san’s feelings either. I don’t understand the feelings of men or women, I’m really useless…
As I was worrying, Lyall-san, who had been watching with his arms crossed, spoke up.
“You don’t need to say anything. Just listen to what Fina has to say. Then, just answer honestly with what you feel.”
“Is that really okay?”
“Yeah, it’s fine. Now, go.”
It was a surprisingly gentle voice for Lyall-san.
Our options for where to go as outsiders were limited. When we returned to the guest room that had been assigned to us, Fina-san was sitting on the bed, hugging her knees.
“Fina-san.”
“Katia-chan…”
I quietly sat down next to her. I wasn’t rejected. Silence dominated the room, and time passed quietly. I waited patiently for Fina-san to speak.
“…A long time ago,”
“! Yes.”
Fina-san began to speak. A long time ago?
“My older sister… Ren-nee-san, after our mother died, she acted as Neil’s mother. I was absorbed in drawing, so I couldn’t take care of him as much as Ren-nee-san did.”
“Yes.”
“When Neil was little, he was even more timid than he is now. He used to get bullied by kids his age at the park, apparently. You know, kids don’t care about social status. They don’t care if you’re a noble. It might have even made him a target for bullying.”
“…”
“And Ren-nee would often rush over and chase away the bullies. When she brought a teary-eyed Neil back home, she would always say, ‘If you’re a man, you have to become strong enough to protect someone. Don’t lose.’”
“She sounds like a wonderful older sister.”
“Yeah. She was a bit violent, but she was very strong and cool. I don’t know if that kid… if Neil remembers those words. But, I think they’re still there, deep down. …I never thought he’d say something like that.”
“…”
“Hey, Katia-chan. What should I do? I mean, as his sister, should I support him if he wants to become stronger?”
“I don’t know. But,”
“Yeah?”
“Ren-san is Ren-san, and Fina-san is Fina-san. So… I think you should just say what feels right for you.”
“…I see.”
Fina-san got off the bed and stretched. Was this okay?
“Thanks, Katia-chan. Will you come back to Neil’s place with me?”
“Yes, of course.”
She seemed to have cheered up a little. That’s good.
“Katia-chan, can I say something weird?”
“Yes?”
“The way you quietly listened to me like that… It felt like you were watching over me, kind of like a father, or a dependable older man. It’s strange, isn’t it?”
“No-no-no-no-no way, that’s not it!”
That’s ridiculous! I didn’t intend to show even a shred of masculinity! I just listened to her like Lyall-san said!
“Ahahaha! Why are you so flustered? It’s so funny. Yeah, it’s just my imagination. You’re so clearly feminine.”
“Why are you patting my butt?”
“Hehehe, you have a nice butt.”
I think Fina-san’s actions are more like a lecherous old man!
When we returned to the dojo, Lyall-san and Neil-san were waiting. The other disciples weren’t there, so I guessed that today’s schedule was already over. Lyall-san spoke first.
“Like magic, aura is easily influenced by one’s mental state. Make sure you don’t have any regrets.”
“Don’t say such ominous things, old man! Neil, I just want to say one thing!”
Fina-san’s way of addressing Lyall-san has been downgraded… Lyall-san doesn’t seem to care at all.
Translator’s Note
Fina uses “Ossan”, a more casual and sometimes rude way to refer to an older man.
“Yes, Fii-nee.”
“I honestly don’t understand a man’s pride or a swordsman’s honor. But…”
Fina-san paused for a moment, as if searching for words. Choosing the words that would best convey her feelings.
“But, I want you to value your life just as much. That’s all I wanted to say. That’s all.”
Words filled with deep emotion. At least, that’s how it sounded to me. They weren’t twisted, or difficult, and you could call them trite. But, there was undoubtedly sincerity there. The sincerity of a sister who cares for her family, for her brother. I wonder, did Fina-san’s words reach Neil-san?
“—I guess I was rushing things. Fii-nee saw right through me. Throwing away your life to be strong and living strongly are different things…”
“Neil.”
“I’m okay now, Fii-nee. Thank you.”
A different color of determination, different from before, can be seen in Neil-san’s eyes. Of course, Fina-san has noticed it too.
“…But, even so, you’re still going to do it.”
“Yes. Don’t worry, Fii-nee. I’ll definitely survive.”
“…Okay. If you lie, I won’t forgive you.”
The bond between these two siblings might be much stronger than I thought. I’ve always been an only child, both now and in the past, so I’m a little envious.
“Well, are you ready, Neil? …You look a little better now. When you’re ready, start releasing your aura. I’ll judge when you’re at your limit, so keep releasing until I give the signal.”
Lyall-san urged the start of the training. Come to think of it, I should ask.
“What about the other disciples?”
“They’re having dinner. They should all be in the dormitory by now. I told them not to come in here anymore, so you don’t have to worry.”
I see, that’s convenient. If he’s going to concentrate on his aura, it’s better to have less noise.
“Haa—, fuu—. Here I go!”
Neil-san took a deep breath and began to release his aura. It was more unrestrained than usual, just letting the aura flow out. But, this is.
“It’s like a waterfall—”
The words slipped out involuntarily. It was truly a torrent of aura, an overwhelming amount. It’s magnificent.
“Exactly. A normal person would have died from this amount long ago.”
Lyall-san’s statement was mixed with a hint of astonishment. But, after five minutes, his face changed to one of tension as he tried to determine Neil-san’s limit. The amount of aura being released began to decrease.
“Lyall-san.”
“Not yet.”
“But.”
“If we stop now, it’ll be meaningless.”
Neil-san started to breathe heavily. The color had drained from his face. Fina-san is watching quietly.
“Still, not yet?”
“Not yet, a little more…!”
The aura that was like a waterfall now had less force than a small stream. Gradually, it became so thin that it was almost invisible, and then—
“That’s enough! Neil, stop your aura immediately!”
The moment Lyall-san shouted that, Neil-san, who had stopped releasing his aura, collapsed from his knees.