“What’s wrong?”
I’m startled by the sudden appearance of the Commander.
Wondering if something happened, I ask, only to be met with a troubled smile.
“Sorry, were you still in the middle of a lesson? I don’t have any urgent business… I just came to check on things.”
After a slight hesitation, the Commander explains why he’s here.
“Would it be alright if I watched?”
Huh? Watch?
I can somewhat dance with the instructor, but it’s not polished enough to show off to someone else. Feeling embarrassed about being observed, I try to politely decline, but before I can, the instructor answers for me.
“Well now, Lord Hawk. You seem in fine spirits. If you’d like, why don’t you join us, Lord Hawk?”
At the instructor’s words, I instinctively turn around. The Commander too? What does that mean? Noticing my gaze, the instructor smiles and explains.
“It’s good practice to dance with a different partner once in a while.”
“That’s true, but…”
I understand what the instructor means, but I’ve only just gotten the hang of dancing with a partner. Even then, it’s only because of the instructor’s lead that I manage at all. In this state, could I possibly dance properly with the Commander? I’m highly doubtful, but both the instructor and the Commander seem enthusiastic about it. Hmm. Even if I’m unsure, the Commander probably learned to dance from childhood, so if I just follow his lead, it might work out, right? It’s been working out with the instructor, after all.
As I hesitate, the Commander extends his hand to me. I glance back and forth between his gentle smile and his outstretched hand. My anxiety grows, but it’d be rude to refuse now, wouldn’t it? Taking a deep breath, I steel myself. Straightening my posture, I place my left hand in his palm, and he gently pulls me closer.
With a fluid motion, his right hand rests on my left shoulder. I place my left hand on his right arm and look up at him, only to catch my breath. S-so close… No, I knew this from practicing with the instructor, I knew it, but still! We’ve ridden a horse together plenty of times, and there was that time we had to squeeze into a cramped carriage on the way to the capital. So I thought I was used to being close to him. Yeah, nope. Not used to it at all. Not when we’re facing each other like this. Up until now, it was always from behind or beside him, right? I realize now that the embarrassment of facing each other head-on is on a whole different level.
“What’s wrong?”
“N-no, it’s nothing…”
Frozen while looking up at him, the Commander asks with a curious smile still on his face. I manage a reply and hurriedly drop my gaze to his chest. My ears feel hot. Calm down, me. This is a lesson right now. Taking another deep breath, I somehow settle my nerves and lift my face again. The Commander, facing me, must have seen everything, but he kindly pretends not to notice. At the instructor’s call of “Let’s begin,” I take my first step.
Following the Commander’s lead, I step through the dance. It’s a bit awkward, but the fact that I’m managing at all is entirely thanks to his skillful guidance. Still, relying on him completely isn’t good. To move on my own, I recall the lessons I’ve had so far, putting them into practice one by one. After a while, a voice comes from above.
“Calmed down?”
“…Yes.”
No, actually, I just got nervous again. My wandering gaze betrays my inner turmoil. I’d been focusing on the dance and had finally forgotten about the Commander’s presence, but now that I’m reminded, my heart starts pounding again. Whether he notices or not, the Commander continues speaking.
“I heard you never danced in Nihon… (Japan)”
“Yes. There weren’t many opportunities to dance there, and the types of dances are different too.”
Maybe back in school, for the sports festival, I learned folk dances or practiced the regional Bon dance? But those are completely different from the dance I’m stepping through now, no question about it.
Translator’s Note
The Bon dance (Bon odori) is a traditional Japanese dance performed during the Obon festival to honor the spirits of ancestors. Folk dances in schools are simple group dances often taught for events like sports festivals.
“So you only started learning recently?”
“Yes.”
“To be able to dance this well so soon, you must have talent.”
“Huh? N-no, I don’t think so!”
I’ve never once thought I had any talent for dancing, so being praised like this, I don’t know how to respond. Panicking, I deny it, and the Commander chuckles. It seems I’ve been teased. Ugh! I feel a little frustrated and pout, but that only makes him laugh more, so there’s nothing I can do.
“You started learning after your audience with His Majesty, right? When I started around the same time, I couldn’t dance this well yet.”
“They’ve been rushing through the lessons lately. It seems there might be an occasion to dance soon.”
According to the instructor, the reason for the accelerated lessons is that I’ll likely need to dance in the near future. I’m just a researcher at the palace institute, not a noble, so I can’t imagine getting an invitation to a ball. That’s just wishful thinking though, things probably won’t be that simple. I did have an audience with His Majesty recently, after all. But dancing isn’t just about that, I’ve always been a little interested in it too. Otherwise, even if the civil official recommended it, I’d have stubbornly refused.
“A few months from now, it’ll be the social season.”
“Social season? There’s such a thing?”
“Yes. When the season starts, several parties are held in the capital. Sei, you might get invited to a few, no?”
Of course. Twirling around like this is fun, but attending those glamorous gatherings feels iffy. Maybe my feelings show on my face, because the Commander bursts out laughing again.
“You’d probably only have to attend one or two at most. The rest you could decline without issue.”
“But I’d still have to go to at least one, right?”
“Yes. Something like one hosted by His Majesty would be unavoidable.”
“I see…”
Sure, if the king hosts a party and invites you, you can’t exactly say no, right? I get that, but I’m still reluctant. If I have to go, I’d prefer something smaller-scale.
“I’m not fond of parties myself, but…”
He pauses mid-sentence, so I look up at him, wondering what’s up. Uh… Why is he looking at me like that? There’s something sweet in the way he gazes at me, and my heart rate spikes.
“If Sei’s attending, I’d like to escort you.”
“!!”
The Commander leans in slightly and whispers it. T-that sweet whisper is unfair! I shoot him an accusatory look, but it doesn’t faze him much. He just keeps smiling, waiting for my answer.
Just then, the instructor signals the end of the dance. With today’s lesson wrapping up, I bow to the instructor. He says I danced well for my first time with a new partner, and I breathe a sigh of relief. Halfway through, I got so flustered it didn’t feel like practice anymore, so I was worried he’d say something.
I dazedly watch the Commander greet the instructor too. An escort, huh. I’d thought about maybe getting invited to a party, but I hadn’t considered that part. Can’t I just go alone? But entering a venue solo while everyone else arrives in pairs would feel awful, wouldn’t it? I’d stick out in a bad way. Since the Commander’s kindly offered, maybe I should ask him? Oh, but if he escorts me, that means dancing with him too, right? Will my heart survive?
“Sei?”
Lost in my swirling thoughts, I realize the instructor’s already left, leaving just me and the Commander. Maybe because I was so deep in thought, he looks a little concerned.
“Sorry, I was just thinking about something.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yes. …Um, about the escort thing…”
When I mention “escort,” his face grows even more worried. It’s because I was overthinking with a serious expression, isn’t it? Sorry about that.
“If it’s alright with you, Lord Hawk, I’d like to ask you to do it.”
“Really! Of course, I’d be delighted.”
As I finish, his face lights up instantly. Seeing him so happy warms my heart a little. No invitation’s arrived yet, so it’s not certain we’ll actually go together. But asking the Commander to escort me doesn’t seem like a bad idea. If an invitation does come, I’d probably have ended up asking the director or someone anyway. I’ve never been to a party, so going with someone experienced would put me at ease. In that sense, it might’ve just solved one of my future worries. Pretty good choice on my part, huh? And so, the cheerful Commander walks me back to the room assigned to me in the palace.